What a HW/Cuckold relationship means to us

Have you seen some of the Cuckold sites on the web?  They really aren't about Cuckold any more.  All of the sites have been hijacked and digressed into a soup of unrelated fetishes from FemDomme to bisexuality to Male chastity and other extremes that have nothing to do with the lifestyle.

Some sites insist that it's only Cuck if the wife fucks black guys, or it's only Cuck if the husband sucks their wifes lovers cock, or it's only Cuck if the wife is a total bitch and treats her husband like a spineless wimp.

Nothing could be further from the truth of real HW/Cuck marriages.

Ours, I believe, is typical of most HW/Cuck marriages.  I have sex with other men, and my husband knows everything.  The fact that I have sex with men outside my marriage makes me a HW, and my husband a cuckold.  It doesn't make him bi, gay, or a wimp.  I don't need to have sex with black men in order to be a HotWife.  None of the extreme bullcrap you read online is a part of our relationship.

I just have sex with other men occasionally.  That's all we need in order to enjoy ourselves.  Of course it can involve variations that we both enjoy.  Sometimes he watches.  Sometimes he doesn't.  Sometimes I have a lover over to our place.  Sometimes I go to theirs.  Sometimes I meet someone for a quickie.  Other times I can stay all night (if I want).  There are a lot of different things I can do sexually, but none of it involves the weird extremes.

There is a slight power shift from the days when we were first married.  I do have more say in who I sleep with, and my husband has taken a lesser role in selecting my lovers over the past year. That doesn't make him a submissive wimp.  He just enjoys giving me the reigns, and letting me make my own choices.  I would still agree not to see someone if he had a problem with them, but he enjoys stepping aside and allowing me to decide who I will be with.  That makes me feel trusted and empowered.

I might use that power to tease my husband at times and heighten his experience, but I would never deliberately use it to hurt him.  I would also never deny him sex for an extended time.  That seems pointless to us.  Sometimes before a date we both enjoy a period of mutual abstinence to increase our anticipation, but anything longer defeats the purpose.  This is about sex.  If you're not having sex, what's the point??

Control is something to be treasured and wielded wisely.  I use it to build our marriage and make it stronger (and sexier).  I would never use control to demean someone I love, let alone the man who gave me that control in the first place.

When we first started doing this I'll admit that I thought it was weird.  Now that I have lived it and seen how natural it is and how much enjoyment we get from it I can't imagine living any other way.  Looking back at our monogamous relationship from our younger years it's easy to see how many marriages succumb to the monotony of it all.  I now feel thankful for this "weird" lifestyle we've discovered.

One day we may put it behind us, or move on to something different.  But for now it's perfect for us both and just what we need in our relationship.